Burdens Shared

There’s a saying that a burden shared is a burden halved but a joy shared is a joy doubled.  I’ve seen and experienced the second half of that saying but in this last month I’ve really, truly experienced the first.

Overall, I’m an introvert who’s also rather shy and awkward in normal social interactions.  I try but I’m not always sure I’m “doing it right.”  I show my heart and give my full trust to only a few but will gladly be a true friend to anyone who honors me with that title.  I want to be able to help others, to be known as someone fully trustworthy, someone to whom it is safe to confide your hopes and hurts alike.  But I’m not used to the idea that someone else might want to do the same for me.

When things grew suddenly difficult at work, I spent two weeks trying to bear the burden alone.  “My friends and family have enough troubles of their own right now.  They don’t need me adding to them,” I thought.  And I struggled.  I dreaded leaving for work in the morning - wanted to call in sick several times though I was physically fine.  The stress ate at me and I did get sick(ish).  When I got home, I wanted nothing more than to curl up under the blankets and hide (it didn’t help that the weather was rather dull…).  But I didn’t tell anyone that I was struggling because I thought I was strong enough alone and didn’t want to be a bother.  And there was one person I wanted to tell before anyone else and we just couldn’t seem to find a way to get together for those first two weeks.  It was not a fun time.  At all.

And then the meeting I was hoping for happened.  I got to tell my mom what had been eating at me for a fortnight.  And just telling her felt like I’d dropped a heavy pack - her encouragement after was like massaging the kinks out of my shoulders.  Then I told another friend and my brother.  And I wrote how I’d been feeling down and shared it with y’all.

It was like the sun breaking through the clouds after a thunderstorm.

My burden, my struggle, didn’t weigh anyone else down when I told them.  In fact, a couple of folks said it gave them relief to know what was going on because they’d seen that something was off but didn’t know what.  And for my part, I felt lighter, freer, more relaxed.  The weight wasn’t gone, but it wasn’t pressing me into the ground any more.  I could breathe again.

As Christians, we’re told to “bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal. 6:2) and also to “rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” (Rom 12:15).  Now I really can see why.

After my last post, I had a friend apologize for telling me about her problems with class and say that she wouldn’t have bothered me if she’d known what I was struggling with.  Maybe her problems seemed insignificant to her but I never want anyone to feel that way.  I’ve friends who are battling physical ailments and family problems and others who are trying to find the direction God wants their lives to go in but knowing their struggle doesn’t make mine worse.  Rather, it reminds me that I’m not the only one with difficulties to overcome.  It lets me focus on others rather than myself.

And it reminds me to go before the Throne of Grace.

“Casting all your cares upon Him for He cares for you,” we’re told in 1 Peter 5:7.  If sharing my burdens with other mortal beings who cannot actually change my circumstances makes me feel this much lighter, how much more when taking them before the King of kings who controls all things?  A not-distant King who walks among His people and will gladly bear us up if we will but ask.

Does this mean everything is smooth sailing?  That it’s all sunshine and roses?  No.  It does mean that I am never alone.  That my troubles are a passing thing compared to what will come.  Though the way may be rough and filled with turmoil, I have the truest of friends who will walk beside me into His glorious kingdom.  And that Friend has been generous enough to give me other friends and family who will lighten my burdens when I share them – and whose burdens I can help carry until the day when He takes them away for good.

“…In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33b)